I received this poem for my 65th Birthday. It was posted through the door in an envelope inscribed "A Special Message from the Women's Institute, Louisport, Newfoundland". On the due day, I opened it, naively expecting a maybe religious message and was initially gobsmacked then in fits of laughter, as I read the contents. I was later informed that it had indeed come from the Women's Institute, Newfoundland, but from their musum shop! I thought it might also make others laugh, hence its inclusion here.

 

 

My nookie days are over,
my pilot light is out
what used to be my sex appeal
is now my water spout

Time was when of its own accord
from my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job
to find the blasted thing

It used to be embarrassing
the way it would behave,
for every single morning
it would stand and watch me shave

As my old age approaches
it sure gives me the blues
to see it hang its little head
and watch me tie my shoes!
uk insurance
life insurance
buy to let mortgage
home insurance